What is Womens self-esteem? Definition: A woman's experience of being capable of meeting life's challenges and the feeling of being worthy of happiness. Women who have healthy or authentic self-esteem trust their own being to be constructive, responsible, and trustworthy. It is an inner state that can be nurtured and cultivated. A Womans Self-esteem is the level that you respect and value yourself as a lovable, worthwhile woman. Where Does Self-Esteem Come From? Our self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities. Experiences during our childhood play a particularly large role in the shaping of our basic self-esteem. When we were growing up, our successes (and failures) and how we were treated by the members of our immediate family, by our teachers, coaches, religious authorities, and by our peers, all contributed to the creation of our basic self-esteem.

Thursday, October 21, 2010



People are continuously asking me:

How do I......

-feel better about myself?
-get over this hurt and loneliness feeling?
-stop these insecure feelings?
-stop comparing myself to others?
-find a healthy balance in my life?
-stop over eating?
-find happiness in my relationship?
-find a perfect partner?
-find a desire to move forward?
-stop old memories from ruining my present life?
-be a better person?
-fit into the 'normal' mold expected of me?
-stop worrying?
-see life through a glass half full as opposed to half empty?
-find sexual joy with my partner again?
-stop my partners addictions?

I can go on and on with the 'how do I's' in life.

I cannot do the walk for you, but I sure can help you draw out your map. In my own life and experiences of the 'How Do I's', I have worked very hard at finding answers to all of these weights that pull us down every day.

Life is life...we are all born with similar tools and we are all given a fairly good start.

What we do with our lives is really our own choices...our choices are up to us....we choose which directions to travel in our map of life.

Yes...it is that simple.

So there you have it....basically where you are right now in your mind is where you have chosen to be.

Some will say...pills are needed...therapy is needed....hmmmm!

Pills lead into more pills and in the end only succeed in clouding ones mind of the reality they need to find a certain clarity.

Therapy seems to also lead into nothing but more therapy and confusion in more cases than not. Oh, then we also have that unjustified cost attached to the time involved.

These so called cures would be more helpful if they were used as a temporary support, not as a new way of life, which unfortunately happens to most that take either route to happiness.
An addiction or even a dependency is what ends up evolving.

So what are you left with?

You are left with your own mind and your own choices. It always comes down to one person at the end of the day.

When you are falling asleep, the only person in control of your thoughts is YOU.

When you wake up in the morning, the only person in control of your thoughts is YOU.

You determine which way to think.
You determine what you feel.
You are the only person responsible for how you feel.
You know that happy is so much better and full-filling than sad.
You determine what words will be allowed to remain in your thoughts.
You are the key to your self-esteem and self-worth being healthy.

When it starts to rain, you know enough to get an umbrella to stay dry.
When you feel cold, you reach for a sweater to stay warm.
When a noise is hurting your ears, you turn it down.
When you see someone crying or hurting, you have immediate positive advice for comforting them.
When you feel sick, you call in to cancel your plans, whether it be work, school or a social outing.
Now with all of these situations, you have no problem taking responsibility of choosing the right thoughts or actions.

So why is it that we....

- fall into very bad habits of taking the hard way around?
- hold onto hurt and pain?
- want to hang onto the victim roles?
- allow our negative thoughts override our positive thoughts?
- allow what others think of us matter more than what we think of ourselves?
-preoccupy so much of our very limited time allowing sadness and memories determine our day?
-work harder at staying down then getting back up?
-sign up for all the pity parties we can find?
-look to blame anyone else for our shortcomings or downfalls?

The toughest step in reaching that happier more balanced you is to truly accept the fact that it is YOU that is the key.
Once you can actually conceive this fact, then you will be able to use your mind and your choices to move forward.

We have already determined and agreed that:

-you know whats right from wrong.
-you know how to think.
-you can react positively when necessary.
-you can choose your thoughts to determine your feelings.

So what are you waiting for now.

You have the answer..it is YOU.

It is not your partner, your parents, your children and most certainly not the media that determines your happiness and self-acceptance.

It is YOU!!!!
This is the first day in the mind of YOU!
The YOU that will make the positive choices of thought.
The YOU that will not allow the past or negative remarks determine how your day will be.
This is the first day in the mind of YOU.
You can accomplish your own happiness, if you choose to!

These are my thoughts and my words.

I choose to share them with you!

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