~You Are Beautiful~

You are Beautiful...yes you are...the minute you can say it, believe it and live it...is the minute you have taken back your identity and found self-love and self-acceptance~

The video below is about how one woman,' Caitlin Boyle' decided to take control of her negative talk that so many of us experience from time to time which keeps us in that rut which disables our ability to see our own unique beauty~

More interesting is that she decided to pay it forward and use post it notes to reach out and connect with women all over the world~

Click on..~Post it notes, help make women feel beautiful~

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

~D~

Faking an Orgasm..should you?

Is there something wrong with a woman that has not experienced an orgasm?

These are a couple of questions that I have been getting asked more and more, so I thought why not address them through my articles? As much as I have written this for my ladies, men you can benefit from reading this little bit of info also!

There is nothing physically wrong with women that have not experienced the big O! They simply just have not learned how. It is very much a mental exercise as well as physical. Way back when..., we were taught that it was a bad thing to touch ourselves (masturbate). That was a big wrong turn for a lot of women. I have read a lot of letters from women that tell me that they were in their late 20`s before they ever experienced an orgasm, one that they would consider an orgasm anyway. This is why I express over and over, ladies learn about YOUR BODY! Orgasms are very connected to ones mind when dealing with the female. If you are worried or tired or feeling a bit at odds with your partner, that door is definitely going to be locked, even nailed shut. It will take some work and patience to find the key to open up that mind trap.

Too many women spend way too much time worrying about orgasms. Worry only puts up the walls that will totally disable your mind to relax and float. Think of watching and waiting for water to boil. By the time it has boiled you have lost interest. Or when you are trying to call someone and the line is forever busy, that just frustrates you to no end. If you would have just carried on with something else at the time, the water would have boiled before you knew it, the phone line would be cleared, and you would be frustration free! Orgasms work in very much the same way. Do not think about them. Do prepare for them, feel your body call them, desire them, fantasize, open your mind up to a total zone of passion. Pure thoughtless passion!

Some women feel that if they do not orgasm, their partner will feel that they have failed them, or vice verse. (GUILT) There is absolutely no room for guilt or shyness in the arena of sex! This is one of the reasons women FAKE the O! It does not do any real physical harm to fake most things in life. The only one that is losing out though, is you. You are fooling no one but yourself. Then you end up feeling even worse because you pretended at a time when you should be open and real.....................................>

~D~

Sitting behind the bars of a food addiction~

There are not too many of us that do not want or think we need to lose a pound here and there. For many it is more a matter of firming it up and that is usually done with exercise. But for the people that are carrying weight around with them that is threatening their ability to walk, run, get in and out of a car, a chair at an office building or even breathe...this is a serious issue. My article is more about the need to understand yourself a bit more and to identify with why you have fallen into this addiction for food. Realize how it is destroying your self-esteem and confidence.

**I have had a weight problem all my life. But I think it is more of a pleasure problem. I think it is also a self-esteem issue. Food was always a reward in a way..like if you eat all your dinner you can have desert. Food was and still is a way of socializing ... holidays.. going out to eat.. birthdays ect. Even as a baby I am sure that I was given food instead instead of personal affection. If my partner fails to support my diet, then it is all his fault that I have failed. If my friends don't respect that I am on a diet, how can I follow it through?**

Is this you...can you fit in this thought at any time or even partially?.........

~D~

How to..Understand low self-esteem

We absorb a lot of insightful words from many different sources telling sufferers of low self-esteem how to overcome their negative thoughts through positive thoughts. This is all very well and good, except we seem to be overlooking how to help the people whom are involved with the sufferers. How do they understand what really is behind the feelings of low self-esteem and just how much it does trap a persons mind in a state of paralysis and fear of loneliness, even abandonment in some cases.
I have written this article in hopes to increase awareness and to inform the partners and family members that are involved with a person who is suffering from low self-esteem.
I have had many requests for this type of information which is a good thing. It shows that there is more support and genuine people out there working to help others find a happy place. It also tells me that all of the information available today is not being read by closed minds nor is it going unwarranted.

I am going to refer to the sufferer of low self-esteem as the receiver and the involved party, as the giver.
The giver will be able to recognize many of the following symptoms and actions as will the receiver.

Low self -esteem ..........

~D~

.Labiaplasty..Vagina of Perfection

I am sure most of you have read or heard somewhere about one of the fastest rising choices in cosmetic surgeries happening in today's world of body-image .
One being Vaginal Cosmetic Surgery (Labiaplasty) ..according to stats..there has been an estimated 30% increase since 2005. More women each year are choosing to have their labia cut and sculpted like a piece of modeling clay. They are also signing up fast and furious to have it stitched up to reduce looseness and size through what is labeled, 'Vaginal Rejuvenation'. The age groups range anywhere from 15-late 20's.

So do tell me people....where is this need to be perfect going to stop?

Self-esteem...self-acceptance....being accepted... money... popularity.... vanity.....just because I can....it is the latest fashion.....porn....prostitution....ect.

These are just a few of the reasons as to the why's of this type of cosmetic surgery, which do not differ from any other.

Just so that I am not seeming to be gender specific on the topic of drastic measures to be the 'perfect person'....I will say that women are not alone in this need to 'better themselves' trap. There are many men right there next to them. These men are constantly searching for longevity fixes (staying power), surgeries to extend their penis, pectoral glands, hair implants, ect......

~D~

The ugliness of Low self confidence~

How fine life would be if we all felt like a million dollars 24 hours a day,7 days a week! We would never, ever feeling like we have woken up in a pit, full of self confidence lows, having the energy to just jump out of bed and meet the day with loads of enthusiasm and knowing that we are going to get through the day without worries of any kind. The sun will shine all day, with just enough breeze to keep our bodies cool. Life is good, oh so good.

NOT if you are a person imprisoned by low self confidence, it so is not. Low self confidence is a very nasty characteristic to have inside us. It makes us feel weak. It makes us lose faith in our actions and dreams. It can even stop us from going forward in our lives with relationships. It allows so many ugly negative thoughts to take hold of our minds. Some will even try to escape this gripping emotion through the comfort they feel in their eating patterns. Some begin to trust the emotion that creates mistrust, in order to derail their thinking, only setting them up for a history of jealous explosions.

We begin to act selfish, constantly thinking that every action made is directed at us in some negative way or that we are the butt end of the joke when we see people laughing and happen to be looking our way. We feel that we are being compared with others. We feel we cannot ever do anything right. We see negative in every word that is said about us. We want to share our pain and loneliness, so that everyone around us can feel equally sad. We become habitual riders on the roller coaster of self-pity. We want to be the only person in the world with any good qualities. We want our partners to see only us and desire only us. We want our partners to only have fun when we are around them. We do not allow ourselves to have fun because we are allowing our selfish habit of low confidence to stand in our way. Notice all the WE`s in this paragraph.........

~D~

Mind Games~

Have you ever been caught up in a thought that will not let you out? Escape is not an option. What was a simple drip in your pool of thoughts, quickly turned into an ocean of tidal waves rolling into each, over and over again.This is what it feels like to not have positive control over your mind.

Our minds often repeat hurtful thoughts or scenarios over and over, even when we’d much rather let them go. If you start really listening to your inner voice, you are probably dwelling on the past, remembering how someone may have let you down, or how much anger you still hold back from being hurt. If you fear the challenges that are waiting for you, or you are ashamed at where you are now in your life as compared to where you had planned on being, these fears will definitely be in line to play the mind game on you. All of these insecure or hurtful emotions that you once tucked away will come back to play when the game begins. Only when they come back, you will not recognize them. This is your first bad move. Now the mind game begins.

The game is of the mind, to confuse you in your thought process. When your mind is triggered even slightly by a word, a picture, or even a look, what we want to do is to think positive, nice, sweet and safe thoughts. If you have the slightest opening in your mind, the game will begin. It will take a thought and wait for your first emotional weakness. Then it will twist that thought and magnify it so that it feeds on that weakness and sends you into that ugly world of negative thinking.

You would give anything to shake off these negative thoughts, but we all know so well that it’s easier said than done. Instead, you struggle through your day feeling like you are a freak and that if you do not get a grip on this mind game, and soon , you will explode. All that you want, is to be free of negative thoughts and be happy all the time.

You spend a lot of time thinking over negative feelings and sulking over regrets and misfortunes. The worst part is that the more you try to end this horrible game that twists your brain so tight, the worse it gets. You will try to avoid your hidden shames and worries, or drown them with alcohol or drugs. All that happens when that little fix-it ends, is that the mind game becomes stronger. New thoughts continue, the game attacks again only to turn those thoughts against you. You can feel them escalate into negative scenarios in your mind, but at this point powerless. The power of the game is winning and you are now in the believing stage of the game. Your mind now believes your negative thoughts. You are forced to react, and through this reaction the mind game soars and takes over even further. Now it not only controls you, but it has also taken control of your entire world and whoever is in it at the time. You collapse from the draining feeling of failure once again. You feel that you will never be able to win this mind game. You feel that you will be a pawn for the rest of your days on earth. A doormat and a bug to stepped on over and over again, because of your inability to gain strength and take control of your positive mind. So why not just give in? Why not just bow down whenever you fail to think positive thoughts? Well, I will tell you why you do not want to do that!

You are a human being with a heart and a brain. You were given the ability to feel emotions. Emotions such as: self-respect. self-esteem, humor, love, laughter, sexuality, self-confidence, but most of all, you were given intelligence and the will to survive. You were given the gift of life. Those are the reasons to fight. How to fight, is also right there in front of you.

You are already aware of the mind game. Most of you have played it so long that you should be the champions by now. I have talked about habits many times and I will keep talking about them. Through habits you can defeat many of those mind games. Try to simplify your thoughts. The stronger the game tries to twist them, the harder you work to shrink them.

I read about an interesting way to look at this. Think of your thoughts as a pop-up ad on your computer. You see it and then you don`t. Or it pops up and you simply delete it without giving it a second thought. Even if it was a negative pop-up, you spend no time at all analyzing where it came from, you simply carry on with what you were doing. This is a good way to play, and win the game. Also another way to play and win, is when your thought begins to twist through the negative game, start to vocalize it. Sing it quietly to yourself, or hum outloud. This will confuse the game, and throw it off track. Immediately when you get a thought that seems to be fair game, think of something very funny or a very sad movie that made you cry. A very good habit is to change your thought track. The game cannot keep up when the track is jumped. Be aware that your mind is a game field, but you have to play it in order to win. If you do not play, you will lose by defeat. SAD!!! So my words to you is this : KICK IT`S BUTT!!!!!!!

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It is your imagination that constructs

the limitations you see,

so use imagination

to get rid of them.

- Anonymous

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If you act like you are a powerful person,

then powerful things will

happen to you!

~D~